OK, so here it is......

So, I had no idea how many of you actually read this little blog of mine!! I have had so many people asking me about when I am putting up my post about the weekend! I am sorry it has taken so long, but not only was the weekend a rather difficult one for me, I came back to a shitstrom of work to do when I returned. I was exhausted emotionally and physically and couldn't bring myself to sit down and write this all down. So here goes......
....right from the beginning......
So, Thursday afternoon, Katy meets me at my school and we get the fuck outta dodge on our way to Quebec city. I have quite a lead foot, so we make REALLY good time and pull in around midnight, i wasn't expecting to make it until 2 am. Anyhow, while we were on our way, we spoke to one of our team managers who told us that there wasn't a room for us when we got there because they had us written down as goin gon the friday which i find strange because i spoke to her the day before and told her when we would be arriving.... so that was the first hurdle. Thank god that by the time we got there, they had found a room that we could stay in for that night. Well, our relief was rather short-lived. the room was TINY with these two little crappy army cots in there. One of them wasn't even long enough for Katy to fit on, but since I am a midget, I fit.
And so, the next day, we were rather slow to get up, but we did and we went shopping!!! I come all the way to Quebec city to fight in a judo tournament, THE judo tournament of the year and I end up shopping - pretty girly, but awesome! After shopping, we had a team practice at a dojo across town. The Beauport Dojo! Holy Crap! This was one nice dojo!! Beautiful sprung floor, two fighting areas! it was gorgeous! I had a really good practice too! Had a whole bunch of partners and I was throwing and attacking and gripping and doing everything right. Apparently that would be the last time I do everything right on that weekend!
Well, that night, two of fighters on our team who weren't fighting the next day decided to go out and get completely shitfaced and keep all of us awake until the wee hours of the morning. I felt so bad for the ones who were fighting the next day. I would have knocked their teeth out if it were me who was fighting! Needless to say, again, Katy and I were VERY slow to get up. We didn't show up at the Shiai-jo until about 1:00 because we were so tired. Team Ontario did pretty well. Had a whole bunch of fighters in the finals, we were very proud of them! And now, to get ready for my fight the next day.
So, for those of you who are not in judo, we fight according to weight categories. I am in the -78kg category, which means that my category spans from 70 - 77.9 kgs. When we first got to the university (where we were staying) I weighed myself. I was 75kgs. A bit light, but good, so I could eat and not have to cut weight, which totally sucks. So I started eating all the good healthy food you should eat before going to tournament. I weighed myself the next day, Friday, and I was 74 kgs. Strange that I would lose weight even though I wasn't working out and I was eating like a fiend. And then I checked myself on the Saturday and I was down to 73!!!! By the time I weighed in on the Sunday morning, with all of my clothes on, I was 72.5 kgs. It was so strange! I was so light! And so it goes, midget Tami weighs in and gives up 6 kgs to the other girls and goes about getting ready to fight.
Now, there were only 5 girls in my entire category which means that it was not double elimination, it would be a round robin, meaning that no matter what, I would have 4 fights. This si a good thing, as much experience as I get at this high level is very good for me. There were people who went all the way there, lost their first fight and were subsequently eliminated completely because the person who beat them lost their second fight.
So, I bow in for my first fight and I am terrified. I was beat before I ever even stepped on the mat. I felt like an orphan out there. I didn't have any of my senseis around, although they were all a phone call away, and boy did I use that phone! I asked an old friend of one of my senseis to sit in my chair and coach me. He is awesome. He doesn't know how I fight, but he did his best and is a great cheerleader!
Anyhow, I lose the first fight, and I say, ok, I lasted through my first ever national level fight, get ready for the next one..... I fight the next one, and lose..... so I get ready to fight Becky, a good friend of mine and a fierce competitor and I lose.... So, at this point, I was feeling like a yellow belt and I was hysterical. I did not want to get back on that mat!!! My next fight was against the girl going to the Olympics. The thought of losing yet another fight was just too much for me to bear. I made some calls to some really good supports and got my head back in the game and got myself back onto that mat and fought, and lost.
After all the fighting was over, the girls commented to me that I NEED to get out of that weight class because not only am I a midget, I am REALLY light! Really easy to pick up! And so the weight cutting starts, but I will get to that in a little bit.
Well, after the crying stopped (it didn't actually stop for about three days) but after it stopped for the time being, I went back to the dorms, showered before everyone else, and we went about getting our drunk on!

OK, so, Tami actually got drunk... so loaded that I actually told the head coach to go F&%k himself. Had a pretty good time at the party in the hallway before the banquet, being loaded at the banquet, going to the bar and then back in the hallway after the bar.
I will say this, that drive back from Quebec city hung over, was not a good time!!!!

I did not completely follow through on my eating plan for when I got back, but I did eat pizza and ice cream the night i got back and I actually ate a DONUT the next day.

So, the next day, since I got in so late and was so tired, I had also taken off of work. So, I went in to Sensei Dave's office for a meeting for about an hour and a half!! Much of that time I spent crying. Again, intellectually, I knew that I wouldn't win, but that doesn't make losing suck any less. As well, the humiliation of having to lose four when most others get to only lose one or two was pretty bad. We watched my fights and he analyzed them and we will work, but still..... doesn't feel good!

Anyhow, I must say this, I am very lucky to have a very wide and supportive network of people who have helped me in their own individual ways ranging from trainers, therapists, senseis, friends, training partners, people from out of town as far as Israel and Boston.... All of you, you know who you are, thank you, and I love you all very much!

And now, on to getting ready for next year! I need to do many things. The first of which is to cut about 20 pounds so that I can get into a category with people more my midget like size. I need to work out more effectively and more specifically. I need to train with left-handers such as myself who are better than me, I have one I will be using and am grateful....and I just need more mat time and experience. I will travel around looking for dojos with women and smaller men so tha tI am not trying to practice on 200 lb men!

I think I have said enough for today! Going to bed!

BTW, I have a million wicked stories from the weekend and will start posting them as they come to me!!!